Update: ONE WEEK LEFT!!!

Hi everybody!

This blog is just  about my life. So, if you care about me and my life,feel free to keep reading, if not, then that's ok too. I probs wouldn't want to read about my life either. ;) 

I've been in awe these last few weeks of freshmen year. I've already almost completed one year of college; how is that even possible? I've been doing some reflecting, planning, organizing, and studying lately. Basically, this blog is just going to be about my plans for the summer, my plans for next fall, and a reflections on everything that has happened this year.

It's hard to focus on any one thing because I'm SO looking forward to summer! I'm  finished with freshmen year in ONE WEEK. Yes. One week from today. That's so crazy. My mom is flying in to San Francisco from where  ever she is teaching now, and will meet me at my apartment on Friday the 15th. All the while, my dad will be driving down from Oregon and will meet us the next day. We will unload some furniture for my apartment then pack up the belongings I want over the summer. Then we're off! Back to Oregon for the summer. 

The majority of my summer has already been planned out. I just registered to take Spanish and Public Speaking at Portland State University. Some of you may be thinking why or where will you live, etc. Just kidding you probably don't even care, but I'll tell you anyway! I'm planning on graduating a whole year early from USF! :D That means I'll get my bachelors in Psychology in three years and my Masters in elementary education the following year. A total of 4 years for both my bachelors and masters. I'm very ambitious and am going to work my hardest! That's why I'm taking extra units over the summer. 

So, plan #1: classes at PSU. Also, they're only four week courses so they wont take up too much of my summer. Oh, I almost forgot! I'm staying with my ever so generous and wonderful boyfriends mom and step dad (Cheri and Mike). They live in the Portland area and everything just seemed to fall into place.

Plan #2: help babysit Gracie (Lucas's younger sister) while I'm staying there. I'm actually super excited to babysit Gracie. She's an energized kid and always super fun to be around! So she should keep me busy and I hope we get to do lots of fun activities together. :) 

Plan #3: Work at Starbucks! I've called a billion Starbucks stores near where Mike and Cheri live to try and transfer from my current store to there. It's a lot harder than I expected. A lot of the stores in that area are transitioning to stores that serve alcohol. And I'm 18... soo.... that stinks. Although I've found a few and am trying to work things out. Also, my availability is pretty limited so it's hard to work around that, but I'm trying! I want to work 3 days a week (mon,wed, fri). But, in all actuality, I won't be crushed if transferring doesn't work. 

Plan #4: HAVE FUN! As cheesy as that sounds, it's totally true. I want to have lots of fun over the summer and hang out with all of my life long friends. I'm super excited to catch up with friends who I haven't gotten to talk to because of the distance. We've also planned some family trips and trips with Lucas's family. I'm very excited! :) 

That brings me to my fall schedule. I've already started planning for the fall and have tried getting everything in order for my return.

Plan#1: Apartment. I've gotten the apartment. I've gotten someone to live there over the summer. I'm slowly moving things over to it. And lastly, I'm super excited to live with my friend Hannah next year! I'm also excited to get to know Kenadi and Cat better (my other two roommates). There's a Chipotle, Panera Bread, Target, and Trader Joes a few blocks over, so we're super excited to have places where we can get our own ingredients to cook or just be lazy and eat delicious food that's made for us. 

Plan #2: I haven't mentioned this yet, but I'm getting a job at a Daycare! At least that's the plan. I actually met with the owner yesterday and really enjoyed it. This Daycare is also a preschool so I will potentially be able to teach young kids. It's such an amazing opportunity and we are planning on me working there when I get back in August. It's also located in the Marina, which is a really safe and nice neighborhood. It also has a bus line nearby that will drop me off right in front of my apartment.

Plan#3: Classes. I'm all registered and am somewhat looking forward to my classes. I scheduled my classes so that I only have them on Tuesday's and Thursday's and every other Saturday. I plan on taking Bio Psych, Social Psych, Ethics, Teaching for Social Justice, and Teaching Exceptional Children. So basically two major courses, two master courses, and a core class. It will probably be my most difficult semester so far, but I'm looking forward to it. 

Plan#4: More work! Everyone knows that San Francisco is not a cheap place to live. Also, USF is not a cheap school. So basically I need to work. I don't know how, but I'm going to find a way to afford everything! I'm either going to try to continue working at Starbucks or just pick up nannying jobs here and there. Whatever I have to do to pay the bills! 

Alright, those are my plans for the future. But planning doesn't always go as expected... 

This year was a really great experience but it wasn't everything I expected it to be. Warning: this may get kinda personal, so if that's not your thing, then back out now. 

I started the semester with an "ehh" attitude. I honestly wasn't happy the day I left Oregon. I was heart broken. I was torn. I was in pain and I was bleak. I didn't care that I was going to San Francisco and I sure as heck wasn't ready to be alone there. I was leaving behind my family, my friends, and Lucas. Oregon and everyone in Oregon was all I'd known and grown to love. So the night before when I had planned to just simply say goodbye to all my friends and boyfriend, didn't go as smoothly as I had planned. Oddly enough, one of my very best friends, Emma, was the easiest to say goodbye to. We have that kind of relationship where we can go months without talking and pick up right where we left off. I know that we'll always be friends. It was fairly easy to say goodbye to other friends too, but that's because I hadn't fully realized that I wouldn't see them for a year. 

It, however, was NOT easy saying goodbye to Lucas. We ended the party at midnight, but Lucas didn't end up leaving until 3am because we couldn't say goodbye. We tried. We tried for three hours. I've never been an emotional person in this way. Things don't impact me until I can physically feel or see the effects of them. So it was weird that I was in the emotional state that I was in. As soon as he drove away, I felt alone. I felt like we were already 550 miles apart even though he was only a mile away. I knew he was gone, and deep down I felt like I had lost him forever. 

I got little sleep that night, and was on the road the next day. This was the first time I was having second thoughts about USF. But somehow we made it to San Francisco. Right when I laid eyes on the city skyline, I got excited. I felt happy. But I felt like I was on vacation. I eventually got moved in, but all I could think about was Lucas. I went to all the orientations and meet thousands of people, but I didn't click with any. It all seemed superficial and I was distracted. I wasn't focused on meeting friends, and I wasn't as enthusiastic as I should have been. Yes, I was friendly, and yeah I got hundreds of numbers and hangout requests from people. (I now look at the numbers and have no idea who those people are). But I thought to myself that I was just excited to be in SF and excited to see what the classes were like. 

I went through basically the whole year looking forward to the next day. Looking forward to the day that was closest to going home. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed most of my time in the city, and I kept myself busy with things like Girls on the Run,babysitting, work and PAWS club (which I'm now Vice President of), but I still always counted down the days until I got to see Lucas and my family. 

It's been a roller-coaster. With ups and downs. Let me tell you, long distance isn't easy. It isn't fun, it isn't preferred, but it's what's necessary at this point in my life, and I'm willing to do it for him. When we're together, I'm the happiest I could be,I have fun, and most importantly, I'm myself. It's worth it. What we go through now, will be worth it later. At least that's what I tell myself. It's silly, but it's what keeps me going. Being apart from people you love and care about hurts. But somehow we've made it through the first year. 

It's interesting though, because I've actually gotten to know my mom a lot more than I ever did living with her. I've gained a sense of appreciation for my parents. And I'm thankful for that. They are amazing people and I love them dearly. 

Anyway, I could go on and on about my first year. There's a lot I've left out and a lot that I've briefly discussed. It's been an experience that I will always remember. I've been able to do a lot of self-care and self discovery and I'm grateful I had that time to myself.

I'm excited for the future! :)

You made it to the end! (Good job!;))

Leave me comments or questions. 

Until next time...