To the Comment That Made Me Cry

I debated heading this blog "to the bitch that said..." or "to the girl that made me cry" but really it wasn't her, it was her words. Words have a lot of power, and even when individuals are not ill intentioned, their words can come out vicious and stab you in the heart (or more preciously in this case, the gut). So the point is, it wasn't the girl (as much as my inner three year old wants to scream and call her names), but rather it was her carelessness and probably her lack of knowledge about how detrimental words about weight can be for someone with an eating disorder. 

That's exactly what brings me to this letter. I know that some of you are sick of hearing people voice their opinions about what "hurt their feelings," but the truth of the matter is, is that it is so god damn important to allow people to speak their truth and share how they experience the world. I not only say that because that's what I'm about to do, but I also say it because I hear far too often about how people need to "suck it up" because there are real things to worry about. I think that's absolute bull. People don't need to suck it up (or basically hide their real emotions and then get lost in their own self-sorrow) , they need to embrace their pain and talk about it! 

Getting back on track now (hope you enjoyed that much needed tangent), it is NEVER and I seriously mean NEVER ok to comment on someones size. We all experience the world in different shapes and sizes and "big"and "small" is all relative anyway. I know I'm not as "skinny" as I have been. And let me tell you, it's a struggle to look in the mirror everyday. So don't you dare tell me that I've "got a little weight on me..." because I know. I do have a little weight on me. You know why? Because I'm HEALTHY and I'm happy and I strive to live everyday without feeling guilty for eating. When you tell me that I've "got weight" you reinforce all of my insecurities and make me feel like all anyone sees me as is weight. I try and convince myself everyday that weight doesn't matter, that I'm gorgeous in this body, and that I can be desirable at any size. I try and convince myself that I'm not lazy for not exercising, that I'm not a failure for not being the size that the world seems to want me at, and that I can still accomplish anything. 

Contrary to popular belief, not everyone's goal is to lose weight. We're so stuck in a society that emphasis health but accidentally forgot to mention that HEALTH COMES IN EVERY SIZE. So yes, I do have some weight on me. And yes, when you said that, I wanted to stop eating. I wanted to run. I wanted to prove to you that I'm not a failure for not being as short or as skinny as you. But instead I cried. 

All I ask is that you watch your words. Don't be afraid to speak, but be aware of the true intentions behind what you say. Why are you actually saying what you're saying? 

If you really want to comment on the way you perceive someone, try this instead...
- I think that shirt looks really nice on you! 
- You are fing gorgeous and you always will be!
- You really pull off that hairstyle! 
(or anything about amazing personalities) 
NOT
- You're so thin, you could be a model, blah, blah, blah 
- You're fat
- You've got wide shoulders, a big head, big feet, fat thighs, small/huge boobs, no ass, ANYTHING about the body. 

Thanks for sticking with it. Ask me any questions, I'm always willing to answer!