Friday, February 5, 2021

Wet Days: A Poem

Not safe in my darkness

No living at all.

 

Scared—Revealed, as I crawl to the surface

Towards the light

Hold me, I beg… tell me I’m alright

Nourish me softly

As I continue to fight

I’m tired, I bellow

With my last gulp of air

Let me rest in my darkness, it’s nice and quiet in there

You yank my arm harder

I shriek out in pain

Lights burning my deathly aurora, not used to nourishing rays.

Knowing I need this all to survive

Pain is required to live a full life.

 

 

Fighting my fear

Day after day

Closer to sunshine

Slowly drying the tears

Nourish my wounds

As I emerge from within

Reborn from the ashes

Becoming whole once again.

 

You will not allure me

Emptiness so deep

Death, I won’t beat you,

Acceptance is key.

 

Floating, belly side up

Submerged in luke-warm sludge

Drifting on by, no destination in mind

Exposed to the world

Revealing thy fragile soul

Shamed by the pain

Fearful of what’s within

Traumas unveiled as we sink our teeth in

Not only in food, but body and mind

Reconnecting the pieces, I’ve worked to unwind

Thinking, believing the kinks were all wrong

Required to detangle-- make my path straight

Avoid all the fraying, jump over the hoops

Tangled is messy, no one will choose you

Beaten by messaging claiming to know…

How to untangle the messiest ropes

Steps 1,2,3 will solve all your woes

All you need is perfection guiding you on

But wait just a minute,

This feels so untrue

Without kinks and bruises I’ve got nothing to grasp

Rope becomes slippery

… all out of hand

Nothing to hold onto when I sink into sand

Needing my kinks, my knots, and my frays

Saving my life at the end of the day.

 

Working on being

Day after day

Retying my knots

Against societies norms

Judgments of imperfection

As I ride this rough storm.

 

Pushing against the current

Yet drifting on by

Submerged in the murky

One breath at a time.

 

Not fully hearing

…. I think that’s ok

Accepting my presence

Come what may.

 

To be is to live

No agenda in store

Days still a scurry

Regardless of mind

No need to control what goes on all the time.

 

Drifting for now; for now, that’s ok

Maybe this is living – feeling wet days.


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